Stretchlinks Podcast #5: “Wally’s Got A Cigar Store”

Fall face first into Episode 5 of The Stretchlinks Podcast. Another elastic melee by Heinous and Wonkles, aka The Stretchlinks. Spit-shine your blowguns for this episodes’ edge-of-your-seat tragicomedy, Bobby Regus. Fly on the wall your bad Freudian selves as the Links share personal dreamscapes – revealing a startling love of Borgnine and office building motorsports. Audio-oggle the Mailbag as we hear of Iceburg Slim, the ill-fated black cat of Taravel Ave. And please don’t forget your matches for this episode’s incendiary Nugget Of Wonderness, Wally Had A Cigar Store. PLAY HERE

Stretchlinks Lyrics: “Bobby Regus”

“Bobby Regus”

-Lyrics and Music © 1989 The Stretchlinks

I’ll shoot you in the belly, I’ll shoot you in the head.

My name is Bobby Regus and I’ll do just what I said.

Spent seven years in prison, shot a man in the tongue.

‘Ya know he had it comin’ well justice must be done.

My Daddy died in the Amazon, a monsoon of rain and sleet.

In his will he left me a gun so I could make ends meet.

Well my Mama was a plumber, loved wrenches more than me.

Se went on call, was never home, that sent me on a killin’ spree.

I’ll shoot you in the belly, I’ll shoot you in the head.

My name is Bobby Regus and I’ll do just what I said.

(Chorus) Bobby Regus…Bobby Regus has come home.

I’m looking for my baby, I left her all alone,

‘Ya know she cannot read or write, can barely use the phone.

I’ve come back for my Mary Beth, I know that she still cares.

If not I’ll talk her into it, or push her down the stairs.

(Chorus) Bobby Regus…Bobby Regus has come home.

Bobby Regus…Bobby Regus has come…

(Spoken) When Bobby came back to town the folks shuddered and crept away.

Bobby’s face was scarred and mean and he said he planned to stay.

He stole a dozen batteries from Mr. Wilbert’s Five & Dime he ripped  the Sunday dress clear off of Mrs. Kline.

He swore a lot and spit and screamed and shot his gun non-stop it seemed.

He searched for Mary Beth his fiance he bullied every man in town

But Mary had married Sheriff Jones and was nowhere to be found.

It was late one October night and the sheriff came in town.

And Bobby waited with a giant blowgun to bring the lawman down.

But just as Bobby aimed his shaft to send him to his death,

His girl stepped out and took the dart, he had killed his Mary Beth.

Mary’s eyes grew cold as ice as the poison settled in

And the sheriff drew his pistol out shootin’ Bobby in the chin.

Bobby fell and pleaded for his life as the sheriff neared his side

But soon the town heard him singin’ out as he lay in the street to die.

(Chorus) Bobby Regus…Bobby Regus has come home.

I’ll shoot you in the belly, I’ll shoot you in the head.

My name is Bobby Regus and I’ll do just what I said.

I’ll shoot you in the belly, I’ll shoot you in the head.

My name is Bobby Regus and I’ll do just what I said.

I’ll shoot you in the belly, I’ll shoot you in the head.

My name is Bobby Regus and I’ll do just what I said.

Do just what I said…do just what I said

My name’s Bobby Regus…..