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For Sale: Legendary “Heinous House”

September 8, 2009 Stretchlinks Classifieds 2 Comments

Acclaimed Stanford University sociologist Hans Frugel recently unearthed this legendary structure known as “Heinous House”, the lost childhood home of revered ukulele celebrity, Heinous Rynes. The unexpected discovery of this near-mythical one room abode located high in the breathtaking Utah mountains has been the 12 year obsession of Frugel who has certified this to be the very place where young Heinous mastered the ukulele and at the age of 4, tracked a Shiras Moose for 16 days and bit the animal simply “cuz I wanted to see him cry”. Equipped with running water, a wooden door and a tall box of Chinese bamboo candles this roomy 100 square foot Utah State Landmark oozes charm and rock star cache. First $7850 takes it.

For Sale: Crude Oil Tanker $2k OBO!

June 7, 2009 Stretchlinks Classifieds 2 Comments

Heinous picked up this baby on a swing through Bangkok a few years back and really has no use for it now. The Links are feeling pretty damn “green” these days and know that it would not look good for them to own this bad boy any longer. Low miles, includes VCR, pool table and 5000 barrels of crude. No reasonable offers refused.

The Fresh Stuff

Stretchlinks News: Comedy Music Duo Ready Best Of Album

March 8, 2010

“I don’t think it’s supposed to happen this way but our giddiness is beginning to hurt.” Those are the words of Uncle Wonkles, guitar player and singer of the comedy music duo, The Stretchlinks. He’s referring to a rare level of joy that when prolonged can cause physical pain.

Nugget Of Wonderness: You Stole My Lung

November 26, 2009

Hilarious lung thievery in this rare Stretchlinks, Nugget Of Wonderness entitled, “You Stole My Lung”. More lunatic, spoken word comedy improv from Heinous and Wonkles.

Links’ To Love: Doc Watson “Deep River Blues”

February 6, 2010

Enjoy this sweet country bluegrass classic “Deep River Blues” by the legendary artist, Doc Watson. More Links’ To Love video!

Stretchlinks News: Democrats and Republicans Genetically Linked

February 22, 2010

Pelosi refers to a little known genetic study funded by the National Science Foundation that has conducted extensive gene profiling of many government officials including both houses of congress

Stretchlinks News: Heinous Rynz admits invention of The Missionary Position

January 19, 2010

After years of rumor and speculation, ukulele legend Heinous Rynz has broken his mysterious silence and admitted responsibility for the invention of the “Missionary Position”.

Comedy Music Duo, The Stretchlinks Blame “Stupid”

January 31, 2010

Today, the elusive singer and writer of the comedy duo, The Stretchlinks rests casually atop a formidable stack of broken reel to reel tape machines piled in the corner of his Burbank, CA office slurring his way through an elliptical but amusing theory about America’s troubles – and perhaps some of his own.

Stretchlinks News: Study Proves Animal Boredom

January 9, 2010

Are humans the only animals to show signs of boredom? Apparently not. According to Clevelander and part time animal behaviorist, Heinous Rynz, mammals display boredom-like behaviors much like human beings.

Stretchlinks Discover Origin Of The Wedgie

January 9, 2010

The comedy music duo known as The Stretchlinks recently announced they had evidence that identifies the origins of the schoolyard prank known as “The Wedgy”, or “Wedgie”.

Home » Stretchlinks Classifieds » Recent Posts:

For Sale: Legendary “Heinous House”

For Sale: Crude Oil Tanker $2k OBO!

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