Stretchlinks’ Lyrics: I’m Still In Love With You

I’m Still in Love with You

music and lyrics © 1989
The Stretchlinks

I think you are the girl I’ve always dreamed of…
My love’s so strong I don’y know what to do.
And though they have you on death row dear…
I’m still in love with you… I’m still in love with you.

I saw you on the news one night…
the gunfight and your capture that ensued.
And though they shot your leg off and your upper lip…
I’m still in love with you… I’m still in love with you.

(Chorus) They say that you’re homo-cidal;
they say you’re psychopathic too…
though you’ve been known to weild an axe…in anger;
I must confess my undying love for you.

I’ve tried so hard my darling to forget you…
I know that what they say just can’t be true.
That the bodies they found underneath your floorboards..
I’m sure they don’t belong to you…they don’t belong to you.

At six you killed a dog with Daddy’s golf club… (Fore!),
At twelve you stabbed a postman with a knife.
And come the dawn they’ll throw the switch and end your life of crime…
Still you are the sunshine of my life…you are the sunshine of my life.

(Chorus) They say that you’re homo-cidal;
they say you’re psychopathic too… (but I don’t mind)
though you’ve been known to weild an axe…in anger;
I must confess my undying love for you.

With conviction: (Heh-geh- geh geh-geh a goo- goo-goo!!)

I’ve written to your attorney…
I do hope that the jury’s fair.
I hope that I can meet you my darling…
before you meet the chair…before you meet the chair.

Although they say you’re future may seem dismal…
and your darkest fears are surely coming true.
And though they’ll throw the switch they can’t electrocute our love.
Spoken; (‘Cause darling, I’m still in love with you…
darling, I truly love you, with all my heart.)

(Chorus) They say that you’re homo-cidal;
they say you’re psychopathic too… (but I don’t mind)
though you’ve been known to weild an axe…in anger;
I must confess my undying love for you.

“Love is a many Splendeored Thing…It’s the April rose that only grows in the
early spring…Love is a many splendeored thing…”

Stretchlinks’ Lyrics: “Why Not”

“Why Not”

Music and Lyrics
©1989 The Stretchlinks

I called up my baby on Saturday night
I said, let’s go to the movies and she said all right
I said I’ll go to the drugstore and get us some beer
And then we’ll go to the drive in, how’d that be dear?
She said uh
Right then, Why Not!
Right then, Uh! Why Not!
Well soon at the drive in we were cuddling close
My girl whispered to me that I was the most
I said, come on precious baby I think that your fine
Let’s hop in the back seat so we can recline.
She said uh
Right then, Why Not!
Right then, Uh! Why Not!
Well I still remember that passion filled night.
When me and my baby we held us so tight
Well soon my sweet baby well she was with child
She said we must marry and I sort of smiled and said
Right then, Why Not!
Right then, Uh! Why Not!
I dropped out of high school to join the marines
But since I had asthma and was till in my teens
That said go to a trade school and learn how to weld
I got so excited I jumped up and yelled, I said
Right then, Why Not!
Right then, Uh! Why Not!
I had all the happiness a union job brings
I was workin’ and a weldin’ buildin’ large metal things
We soon had a child and large credit line
My wife now wants a dachshund I guess that that’s fine
Right then, Why Not!
Right then, Uh! Why Not!
Now welding for a living leaves a man time to think
And soon a raspy demon’s voice would emanate from my sink
And say Satin is angry, his name’s been defiled
You must strangle your wife and blow up your child
I said uh, Right then, Why Not!
Right then, Why Not!
Well here in my prison cell they thought I’d atone
But since there’s a sink here well I wasn’t alone
The sink often told me just how Satin felt
And told me to hang myself using my belt I said uh
Right then, Why Not!
Right then, Uh! Why Not!

Stretchlinks Lyrics: “Beautiful Moonlight”

“Beautiful Moonlight”

- Lyrics and Music © 1989 The Stretchlinks

Beautiful moonlight, beautiful moonlight

Don’t forget that I’m here behind that tree

Beautiful moonlight, beautiful moonlight

Please don’t forget me as you talk to that person down the street

That I’m standing behind the tree

Beautiful moonlight, Beautiful moonlight

Don’t forget the sacrifices I’ve made for you

Don’t forget the beautiful moonlight, beautiful moonlight

I’m holding the bag, holding the bag for you babe

Don’t forget beautiful moonlight, beautiful moonlight

Sacrifices have been made to maintain our friendship and I

Don’t regret it, don’t regret it. But remember the

Beautiful moonlight, we’re talking beautiful moonlight

Just take a look and

Beautiful moonlight

It’s up there through the window

I’m behind the tree, remember me

I’m still holding the bag for you babe

Beautiful moonlight, beautiful moonlight

Stretchlinks Lyrics: “Bobby Regus”

“Bobby Regus”

-Lyrics and Music © 1989 The Stretchlinks

I’ll shoot you in the belly, I’ll shoot you in the head.

My name is Bobby Regus and I’ll do just what I said.

Spent seven years in prison, shot a man in the tongue.

‘Ya know he had it comin’ well justice must be done.

My Daddy died in the Amazon, a monsoon of rain and sleet.

In his will he left me a gun so I could make ends meet.

Well my Mama was a plumber, loved wrenches more than me.

Se went on call, was never home, that sent me on a killin’ spree.

I’ll shoot you in the belly, I’ll shoot you in the head.

My name is Bobby Regus and I’ll do just what I said.

(Chorus) Bobby Regus…Bobby Regus has come home.

I’m looking for my baby, I left her all alone,

‘Ya know she cannot read or write, can barely use the phone.

I’ve come back for my Mary Beth, I know that she still cares.

If not I’ll talk her into it, or push her down the stairs.

(Chorus) Bobby Regus…Bobby Regus has come home.

Bobby Regus…Bobby Regus has come…

(Spoken) When Bobby came back to town the folks shuddered and crept away.

Bobby’s face was scarred and mean and he said he planned to stay.

He stole a dozen batteries from Mr. Wilbert’s Five & Dime he ripped  the Sunday dress clear off of Mrs. Kline.

He swore a lot and spit and screamed and shot his gun non-stop it seemed.

He searched for Mary Beth his fiance he bullied every man in town

But Mary had married Sheriff Jones and was nowhere to be found.

It was late one October night and the sheriff came in town.

And Bobby waited with a giant blowgun to bring the lawman down.

But just as Bobby aimed his shaft to send him to his death,

His girl stepped out and took the dart, he had killed his Mary Beth.

Mary’s eyes grew cold as ice as the poison settled in

And the sheriff drew his pistol out shootin’ Bobby in the chin.

Bobby fell and pleaded for his life as the sheriff neared his side

But soon the town heard him singin’ out as he lay in the street to die.

(Chorus) Bobby Regus…Bobby Regus has come home.

I’ll shoot you in the belly, I’ll shoot you in the head.

My name is Bobby Regus and I’ll do just what I said.

I’ll shoot you in the belly, I’ll shoot you in the head.

My name is Bobby Regus and I’ll do just what I said.

I’ll shoot you in the belly, I’ll shoot you in the head.

My name is Bobby Regus and I’ll do just what I said.

Do just what I said…do just what I said

My name’s Bobby Regus…..

Stretchlinks Lyrics: “Mr. Baggie”

“Mr. Baggie”

Lryics and music © 1988 The Stretchlinks

Mr. Baggy, Mr. Baggy lives in a town in a house. He never smiles, he walks the streets. Haven’t you noticed that Mr. Baggy?

Mr. Baggy went to work at a job he didn’t like. He lost his car, he hates the bus. He rides to work on a rusty bike.

Mr. Baggy and Mrs. Baggy they got married and had three kids of their own.

Mrs. Baggy, Mrs. Baggy she weighed 500 pounds. She watched T.V. and kept on growing and had that

problem when you fall asleep when you talk.

Don’t you think it’s odd, he wears bags on top of his head? That manifest his hopes that

his wife will soon be dead. But what could he do?

Mrs. Baggy had narcolepsy and Mr. Baggy wore bags on top of his head.

Mr. Baggy watched the news and screamed that the world was insane. His throat swelled up, he could not speak, he moved his things near the basement furnace.

Mr. Baggy had a gripe with Merv and a gripe with game show hosts. He dove right through his T.V. set. It burned his hair , it tore his flesh, it ripped the ears right off of his head.

Don’t you think it’s odd, he wears bags on top of his head? It’s lucky that he had one for his ears they bled and bled. But what could he do?

Mr. Baggy had three kids, they lit a fire under the house. They stole a gun, and shot a dog, they made crank calls to eastern Europe.

Mr. Baggy late at night, talked to the furnace for hours.He slowly burned all that he owned and all the while wore his favorite baggy.

Mrs. Baggy, she could barely move. She searched the house for Mr. Baggy.

Don’t you think it’s odd, he wears bags on top of his head? It illustrates to passersby his life is filled with dread. But what could he do?

But what could he do?

Stretchlinks Lyrics: “Charlotte The Dunk Tank Girl”

“Charlotte The Dunk Tank Girl”

Lyrics and Music © 1989 The Stretchlinks

Now Charlotte was a country girl whose figure was ideal. But she was naive and easily persuaded by a smooth-talkin’ carney to don a revealing bikini and sit in the dunk tank near the ring toss.

She thought she was on her way to Hollywood, so she didn’t concern herself with how deep the water was. Besides, no one even bothered to find out if she could swim or not.

Charlotte, Charlotte, Charlotte dunk tank girl.

They say that when Boris Kovatch was repairing track up on the Big Dipper, her transparent specter hovered near the edge of the railing he slipped over.

Some say he was drunk and fell over, but others believe he was pushed and that with his last breath he whispered Charlotte’s name to the crowd that surrounded him.

Charlotte, Charlotte, Charlotte dunk tank girl.

One year later Charlotte’s old boyfriend tried to go through the Tunnel Of Love with a new girl. When they came out the boys arms and legs were torn off, and his heart ripped right out of his body.

The girl must have caught a glimpse of Charlotte, for she was made blind as a bat and stark-raving mad.

Charlotte, Charlotte, Charlotte dunk tank girl.

When a fat redneck sheriff lost all his money at the shooting gallery he decided it was rigged and beat the carney with a blackjack until the carney’s 12-year-old deaf & dumb son panicked and stabbed him in the butt with a pen knife.

The sheriff shot him dead and was then killed by the grief-stricken carny with one of the rifles used to shoot the lead ducks that go around and around and around.

Charlotte, Charlotte, Charlotte dunk tank girl.

No one knows how long Charlotte’s spirit will haunt the carnival. Most seem to think she won’t quit until it’s shut down for good.

So the next time the carnival comes to your town and you feel like going for a cheap thrill, just remember…the thrill you seek could be your last.

Charlotte, Charlotte, Charlotte dunk tank girl.

Charlotte, Charlotte, Charlotte dunk tank girl.

Charlotte, Charlotte, Charlotte dunk tank girl.

Stretchlinks Lyrics: “Hang Around”

“I Hang Around”

Lryics and music © 1988 The Stretchlinks

When I saw you at the checkout counter buying paper towels and Lucky Charms, I said, “Wow”!

You stood quite near me you were sweating you’d been running I thought to myself, “Holy cow”!

I realize you’re a special kind of girl. That’s why I hang around.

You wear clothes that really reek of gasoline and toxins well that’s okay.

You don’t wash your hair as often as the other girls but whadda they know anyway?

I realize you’re a special kind of girl. That’s why I hang around.

When we make love and our body parts they coincide just like a dictionary.

Your arms are my arms, your legs are my legs too and every part seems to coincide. Just side by side.

But if you leave I won’t be able to sway my hips. Don’t go. Don’t go away.

My friends they think I’m crazy ’cause I make collections of your noises. I tape record them and put them in

a filing cabinet. With dates on them so that I can remember every little giggle, every little sneeze, every

way you express yourself to me.

I realize you’re a special kind of girl. That’s why I hang around.

I realize you’re a special kind of girl. That’s why I hang around.

Hang around… hang around… hang around

Stretchlinks Lyrics: Do Wah Do Wah Do Wah

Do Wah Do Wah Do Wah

music and lyrics © 1989
The Stretchlinks

When I first saw Wanda, she was crying in a laundromat.
She had put her favorite wool sweater in one of the dryers
and I volunteered to get it out for her.

But in what the owner described as “The most grusome and
uncanny laundering mishap he’d ever seen”, I lost three fingers
on my left hand.

She rushed me to the hospital and we were married six weeks later.

(Chorus) Do-Wah Do-Wah Do-Wah, Do-Wah Do-Wah Do-Wah
Do-Wah Do-Wah Do-Wah, Do-Wah Do-Wah Do-Wah
Do-Wah Do-Wah Do-Wah

We got a 25 hundred dollar out of court settlement from the
laundromat which helped us move into a trailer park near a
factory where I got a job working a drill press.

I bought a Chevy Impala at a police auction for 500 dollars.
It ran beautifully, but the radio only got A.M.

(Chorus) Do-Wah Do-Wah Do-Wah, Do-Wah Do-Wah Do-Wah
Do-Wah Do-Wah Do-Wah, Do-Wah Do-Wah Do-Wah
Do-Wah Do-Wah Do-Wah

We called Wanda’s parents and told them “We’ve Made it!”
Everthing was going great until I caught her “doing it” with a
seventeen-year-old Puerto Rican kid.

I beat her up pretty bad that night, so she left me and moved in
with her brother. At work I lost two more fingers.

(Chorus) Do-Wah Do-Wah Do-Wah, Do-Wah Do-Wah Do-Wah
Do-Wah Do-Wah Do-Wah, Do-Wah Do-Wah Do-Wah
Do-Wah Do-Wah Do-Wah

I heard through a friend that Wanda’s got a job at a drive-in
movie theater. She sells tickets for the most part, but when
they get real busy she helps behind the candy counter.

She makes around $4.75 an hour, and with what she steals
from the cash register I guess she does all right.

(Chorus) Do-Wah Do-Wah Do-Wah, Do-Wah Do-Wah Do-Wah
Do-Wah Do-Wah Do-Wah, Do-Wah Do-Wah Do-Wah
Do-Wah Do-Wah Do-Wah

Me? Well I roam around a lot. Doing a little bit of this, a little bit
of that. I went to join the military but they told me I didn’t have enough
fingers.

I tried to call Wanda once, but her brother answered the phone
so I just hung up

(Chorus) Do-Wah Do-Wah Do-Wah, Do-Wah Do-Wah Do-Wah
Do-Wah Do-Wah Do-Wah, Do-Wah Do-Wah Do-Wah
Do-Wah Do-Wah Do-Wah

Some people say that life chews you up and spits you out. And
many would say that my life has been somewhat of a hardluck
story.

I don’t know. But I try not to dwell too much on the past. I’m working
in a butcher shop now where they have a lot of sharp tools. It’s been
three weeks and I haven’t lost any fingers yet. Who knows…maybe
things are looking up.

(Chorus) Do-Wah Do-Wah Do-Wah, Do-Wah Do-Wah Do-Wah
Do-Wah Do-Wah Do-Wah, Do-Wah Do-Wah Do-Wah
Do-Wah Do-Wah Do-Wah, etc….

Stretchlinks Lyrics: “Albatross U.S.A.”

“Albatross U.S.A”

Words and Music by The Stretchlinks

© 1989 Just Happy Music

(Spoken):  ”O.k., well now we’re going and now it’s something good”.

Oklahoma’s awfully far away so we won’t but a ticket to Albatross.

Well we thought about New York City but it’s much too busy and we thought about Albatross

so we’ll go now.

We’re talking Albatross it’s in the U.S.A. and it’s the place to be where people don’t think about

their pants or their shoes.

Just a sky that’s blue. And in the sky it’s raining now.

Well I thought about Cleveland, thought about Columbus, thought about L.A.,

thought about Toronto, but I really think Albatross is the place, it’s got a sky.

And it really thinks about itself. It’s very self-contemplative.

Albatross is the place and everyone goes there.

They have town meetings where people discuss emotional behaviors.

They have a sewer that’s barely underway.

Thought about it but, thought about it, thought about Nebraska or Hawaii, thought about

Europe too but it’s just too spacious and culturally vast.

So, Albatross is the place I’m going. Bought a ticket, on my way.

Thought about something else. Like a mind- expansion experiment.

Plug wires into my brain. But it… got arrested. Albatross it’s the place I know I was

I may not find that it doesn’t exist.

Got a piece of twine wrapped around my finger. It’s gonna help me figure out just where I’m going.

It’ll remind me of a… well… remind me to go… ya’ know people they think that if you’re very spacious,

your mind will evaporate.

Albatross… yeah yeah… it’s only, 40 kilometers… yeah yeah yeah.

Albatross yeah… I’m gonna take myself away into that place where I’m gonna be.

Ya’ know it’s not Hawaii it’s not New York or Chicago or Los Angeles or Tampa Bay no

but it’s, it’s got a sewer that’s barely underway.

It’s got a library. Five books about how to repair your tractor… Al… I’m not even sure that it exists but

I’m gonna go now! Lookout! I got a place to be now. Got a place to be. Everyone’s jealous ’cause

here I go now.

Albatross U.S.A. just take it down… there’s a sign and then follow the dog, there’s a big Doberman

he, he marks the way. Albatross… and… o.k… everybody… o.k. now.