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Not only did you vomit it in, but you vomited in it and it\'s my favorite boot.

Wonkles

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Stretchlinks Podcast #9: “You Stole My Lung”

November 26, 2009 Podcasts 1 Comment
Stretchlinks Podcast #9: “You Stole My Lung”

Stretchheads! It’s episode 9 of the Stretchlinks Podcast entitled, You Stole My Lung, hilarious musical whimsy from Heinous and Wonkles. Hum along to the loss of human fingers with the Links’ earwormy classic, Do Wah Do Wah Do Wah. Squirm uncomfortably during the break-neck potty humor of this show’s Don’t Touch That Feces. Safely lock away your lungs during our spoken word, Nugget Of Wonderness. And marvel as America’s Son’s Of Funny reveal for the first time, the true patent holder of the Missionary Position. More brainless folly, only at Stretchlinks.com! PLAY HERE

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Stretchlinks Podcast #8: Geebles Was His Name – yummy funny

June 14, 2009 Podcasts 17 Comments
Stretchlinks Podcast #8: Geebles Was His Name – yummy funny

It’s a yummy episode 8 of the Stretchinks Podcast, entitled “Geebles Was His Name”. Join comedy music hosts Heinous and Wonkles as they go-cart through the giddy homicidal pining of “I’m Still In Love With You”. Explore the buzzing of your inner honey bee in this show’s Don’t Touch That Feces. Relive Geebles’ slow vegetable slices in this weeks Nugget Of Wonderness. And discover the scorched earth listening habits of your fellow Stretchheads! Giggle now at stretchlinks.com.  PLAY HERE

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Stretchlinks Podcast #7: “Lawn Chair Part 2″

April 7, 2009 Podcasts No Comments
Stretchlinks Podcast #7: “Lawn Chair Part 2″

Despite the advice of friends and family, Heinous and Wonkles are back with Lawnchair Part 2, aka episode 7 of the Stretchlinks Podcast. Gape in wonder as the boys premiere their sparkly new interview segment, Living The Life Of. Joining America’s sons of funny is their old pal Nib Geebles, famed author, artist and creator of the 2009 Calendar That Time Forgot. Shuffle through the exploding, talking-sink-classic, Why Not, clutch your sanity for the mind-folding Nugget Of Wonderness, Lawnchair Part 2 and peek into the human folly of Nib Geebles’ genius with Toady Lovehandles from Nib’s spoken word CD release, Teenager. Warning: No one will be seated during the tasteless hamburgaler reminisce! PLAY HERE

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Stretchlinks Podcast #6: “Lawn chair part 1″

December 22, 2008 Podcasts 2 Comments
Stretchlinks Podcast #6: “Lawn chair part 1″

It’s Episode 6 of The Stretchlinks Podcast. More sonic lobe-lashing from Heinous and Wonkles aka, The Stretchlinks. Be devastated by their stunning love ballad, Beautiful Moonlight. Share new Don’t Touch That Feces bluster, probing the struggles of America’s gun-toting bookstore patrons. Get super wistful with the Links’ bands-of-the-past mailbag reminisce. And welcome the passion of aluminum patio furniture in this weeks hard-sell Nugget Of Wonderness, Lawnchair Part 1. PLAY HERE

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Stretchlinks Podcast #5: “Wally’s Got A Cigar Store”

October 18, 2008 Podcasts 7 Comments
Stretchlinks Podcast #5: “Wally’s Got A Cigar Store”

Fall face first into Episode 5 of The Stretchlinks Podcast. Another elastic melee by Heinous and Wonkles, aka The Stretchlinks. Spit-shine your blowguns for this episodes’ edge-of-your-seat tragicomedy, Bobby Regus. Fly on the wall your bad Freudian selves as the Links share personal dreamscapes – revealing a startling love of Borgnine and office building motorsports. Audio-oggle the Mailbag as we hear of Iceburg Slim, the ill-fated black cat of Taravel Ave. And please don’t forget your matches for this episode’s incendiary Nugget Of Wonderness, Wally Had A Cigar Store. PLAY HERE

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Stretchlinks Podcast #4: “Wally’s Got The Phone”

September 7, 2008 Podcasts 11 Comments
Stretchlinks Podcast #4: “Wally’s Got The Phone”

It’s Episode 4 of the Stretchlnks Podcast entitled, Wally’s Got The Phone. More tingly fun from Heinous and Wonkles the comedy music duo, The Stretchlinks. Wander through the turnstyle of their ghost story classic, Charlotte The Dunk Tank Girl. Delight in Don’t Touch That Feces bellowing as we learn the dangers of magicians and balloon twisters. From the mailbag hear why even journalistic raves kept the Links hiding under fame’s notorious rock of obscurity. And don’t forget to be delighted by this weeks rare Nugget Of Wonderness, Wally’s Got The Phone. PLAY HERE

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Stretchlinks Podcast #3: “Bicycle Assembly”

August 17, 2008 Podcasts 2 Comments
Stretchlinks Podcast #3: “Bicycle Assembly”

It’s Episode 3 of the Stretchlinks Podcast entitled, Bicycle Assembly. Another high-octane delight form the comedy music duo, Heinous and Wonkles. Join the Links as they transport us with the improv romp Albatross U.S.A.. Hear first hand of the boy’s lost music video past. Squirm during Don’t Touch That Feces as you ask yourself, do we really need holidays for psychopaths? And get super happy with Bicycle Assembly, another unsalted Nugget Of Wonderness. PLAY HERE

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Stretchlinks Podcast #2: “Brain Song”

July 20, 2008 Podcasts 3 Comments
Stretchlinks Podcast #2: “Brain Song”

We made it to Episode 2 of the Stretchlinks Podcast entitled, “Brain Song”. Another comedy and musical skirmish by Heinous and Wonkles, aka, the Stretchlinks. Enjoy a listen to the Links’ fav “Mr. Baggie”, experience a “Dont Touch That Feces” ranting on the societal scourge of “.9″, brace for this episodes “Nugget Of Wonderness” and join in the memories of their infamous two city world tour. And please do comment on our clamoring! PLAY HERE

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Stretchlinks Podcast #1: “Scrotum Hall”

July 19, 2008 Podcasts 6 Comments
Stretchlinks Podcast #1: “Scrotum Hall”

Wow! It’s Episode 1 of the Stretchlinks Podcast, entitled “Scrotum Hall”.  The premiere offering from the musical duo, The Stretchlinks. Enjoy a lightheaded peek down memory lane as Heinous and Wonkles flash podcastian prowess swaying and giggling foolishly over the track “Hang Around” from their long lost debut album “You Stole My Lung”. The Links discuss furnaces, answer your email and intro the show’s tell it like it is soapbox segment “Don’t Touch That Feces”. And please do comment on our clamoring! PLAY HERE

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Heinous Rynz Coins YouTube “America’s Time Machine”

Heinous Rynz Coins YouTube “America’s Time Machine”

Ukulele master, Stretchlinks member and cultural philosopher Heinous Rynz can often be found sipping ice tea from a large brandy snifter, strumming his uke and waxing poetic about the evolution of society and the deeper meanings of social media.

“My humble desire is to share wisdom with those unfortunate American’s who may lack a certain historical perspective. Some of it comes from an iron deficiency while others suffer from a lack of sleep or overexposure to household cleaners. Hell, I’ve heard even eating too much cinnamon can make you ignorant to history. But what all American’s can get excited about is the marvel of new media and particularly the societal profundity of YouTube.”

Yes, Heinous did say “profundity” in a sentence, even modifying it with the heady term, ”societal” which by some standards makes him an elitist while in other circles it simply means he likes the sound of the word. According to long time friend and Stretchlinks partner Uncle Wonkles, Heinous will often repeat long, multi-syllable words aloud late into the night simply to experience their “musicality”.

“When we’re on the road I honestly don’t sleep most nights. Heinous has this way of focusing on certain vowel sounds and then just pummeling them over and over through the night. I’m usually bringing in the morning donuts by the time he finishes his “verbal calisthenics” as he likes to call em.”

Despite his admirable infatuation with words, what Heinous seems to most genuinly admire is the cultural revolution, the sheer science fiction of the YouTube phenomenon.

“You have this place you can go that is essentially the closest thing to a true Time Machine that man has ever created.” Heinous explains.

The amiable philosopher sets down his tea and scoots forward with an earnest smile.

“Imagine being transported to your parents’ home TV circa 1974. The color sucks, reception is fuzzy, you place your hand to the screen and get a satisfying static charge. You’re 11 years old again and you’re obsessing about a TV commercial, waiting desperately with a mix of fear and excitement for that one: 60 seconds of joy to share it’s glorious message of mirth and material satisfaction. And when it arrives, when is “airs”, it makes you whole, confirms that you are indeed an American Boy.

BAM!

Now it’s 34 years later and suddenly, there it is on YouTube, that same :60 seconds with its titillating shrill music and that eerie smiling actor boy who you had long ago pushed from your prepubescent memory. The history, the sounds, the smell, the happy faces, your childhood in all its facets descends on you like a synaptic freight train and you relive your youth in a way you never thought possible. But it’s not just advertising, it’s movies, songs, iconic events long since forgotten until the simple push of a button transports you through TIME.”

Heinous leans back breathless, then with an enormous sigh, drains the last of his tea.

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The Fresh Stuff

Heinous Rynz Coins YouTube “America’s Time Machine”

April 23, 2010

Heinous Rynz Coins YouTube “America’s Time Machine”

Ukulele master, Stretchlinks member and cultural philosopher Heinous Rynz can often be found sipping ice tea from a large brandy snifter, strumming his uke and waxing poetic about the evolution of society and the deeper meanings of social media.

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Stretchlinks Lyrics: Do Wah Do Wah Do Wah

November 25, 2009

Stretchlinks Lyrics: Do Wah Do Wah Do Wah

Stretchlinks comedy lyrics: Do Wah Do Wah Do Wah

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Nugget Of Wonderness: You Stole My Lung

November 26, 2009

Nugget Of Wonderness: You Stole My Lung

Hilarious lung thievery in this rare Stretchlinks, Nugget Of Wonderness entitled, “You Stole My Lung”. More lunatic, spoken word comedy improv from Heinous and Wonkles.

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Stretchlinks Video: Hitler rants about the Links

August 7, 2013

Stretchlinks Video: Hitler rants about the Links

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Stretchlinks Video: Instructions For Success

September 25, 2010

Stretchlinks Video: Instructions For Success

We’ve been hearing from our friends that clear instruction is needed. So we have taken it upon ourselves to provide some simple steps to achieve success.

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