Podcasts October 18, 2008

Stretchlinks Podcast #5: “Wally’s Got A Cigar Store”

by Stretchlinks

Fall face first into Episode 5 of The Stretchlinks Podcast. Another elastic melee by Heinous and Wonkles, aka The Stretchlinks. Spit-shine your blowguns for this episodes’ edge-of-your-seat tragicomedy, Bobby Regus. Fly on the wall your bad Freudian selves as the Links share personal dreamscapes – revealing a startling love of Borgnine and office building motorsports. Audio-oggle the Mailbag as we hear of Iceburg Slim, the ill-fated black cat of Taravel Ave. And please don’t forget your matches for this episode’s incendiary Nugget Of Wonderness, Wally Had A Cigar Store. PLAY HERE

Comments 7
  • Dear Stretchlinks,

    I feel moved to share. First, I share your awe and respect for Ernest
    Borgnine. Second (and related), a few weeks or perhaps a month ago, I was at the board at work and looked up to see, yes, Ernest Borgnine. He smiled gregariously and said, “Hello!” I was absolutely thrilled, it’s not
    everyday that you look up and see Ernest Borgnine, unless you actually are Ernest Borgnine and happen to look up and see your reflection in a mirror or in the window of a shop.

    I applaud your podcasts and I appreciate your loud talk and strange music.

    Yours Sincerely,

    Nib Geebles

  • This is colossal. I’ve waited years for this. Congratulations and hearty thanks to the Stretchlinks. But let me also respond to the earlier Geebles post. There is in fact a condition, mercifully rare, characterized by persistently looking up and “seeing” Ernest Borgnine. My uncle had it. Doctors think he may actually have seen Borgnine once (as apparently at least some of those luckless few who catch this cruel disease have), but after that it was all just one long episodic hallucination. It eventually drove my poor uncle to put his own eyes out with a garlic press. As I say, this kind of thing is extremely rare and I don’t see any reason for Mr. Geebles to worry. But then I didn’t see Ernest Borgnine either.

    With fraternal regards and mild circumspection,

    RR Hardy

  • Dear RR,

    The condition that you refer to is known in the medical books as “Borgnine Syndrome”. Though we are not physicians, our detailed research into this has discovered that in the rarest and most extreme cases of “EB” one can actually become dangerously “earnest” to the point of losing the ability to smile. Other symptoms include assuming a freakish determination that manifests with the subject scowling horribly and kareening into furniture and walls. In one disputed incident in Norway in 1963, a podiatrist named, Hans Frugal, claimed he actually was Ernest Borgnine for 2 minutes, 38 seconds. Rumors suggest a film clip exists of Mr. Frugal’s experience. We have our staff searching for this now. Thankfully, while there are these extremes, those afflicted by the more common Borgnine halucinations and most Ernest Borgnine movie fans are not at risk. Thank you for your circumspection and the personal account. The Links are sensitive to our listeners and welcome such raw honest narratives such as yours.

  • Great website, very readable clean content. You may want to try adding more pictures, but either way nice site.

  • Enjoyed listening to you two casting the pod. However, with our country in its depressive state, I feel it would be good to musically address some of the nation’s problems with your creative talents and national influence. Do you have any songs in your vast repertoire that address health care (like nursing homes), automobiles (especially Pontiacs) or latino concerns. There are other universal concerns like unrequited love or religious influences in the land and on our highways. I’m sure that addressing some of these concerns musically would help lift peoples’ spirits in our country in this perilous time.

  • Dear Allison,

    Thank you for being so nice. More pictures on the way!

  • Dear Saturn,

    It may be possible that we have songs that will address some of your longings. Your note is an inspiration. First thing tomorrow we will dynamite into our vast archive to best to lift the nations spirits with our musical stupidity. Thanks very much for being a Stretchhead and caring for this great nation of ours.

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