by Stretchlinks | Nov 26, 2009 | Podcasts
![](http://stretchlinks.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/LinksAlbumz1.jpg)
Stretchheads! It’s episode 9 of the Stretchlinks Podcast entitled, You Stole My Lung, hilarious musical whimsy from Heinous and Wonkles. Hum along to the loss of human fingers with the Links’ earwormy classic, Do Wah Do Wah Do Wah. Squirm uncomfortably during the break-neck potty humor of this show’s Don’t Touch That Feces. Safely lock away your lungs during our spoken word, Nugget Of Wonderness. And marvel as America’s Son’s Of Funny reveal for the first time, the true patent holder of the Missionary Position. More brainless folly, only at Stretchlinks.com! PLAY HERE
by Stretchlinks | Nov 25, 2009 | Featured, Lryics
Do Wah Do Wah Do Wah
music and lyrics © 1989
The Stretchlinks
When I first saw Wanda, she was crying in a laundromat.
She had put her favorite wool sweater in one of the dryers
and I volunteered to get it out for her.
But in what the owner described as “The most grusome and
uncanny laundering mishap he’d ever seen”, I lost three fingers
on my left hand.
She rushed me to the hospital and we were married six weeks later.
(Chorus) Do-Wah Do-Wah Do-Wah, Do-Wah Do-Wah Do-Wah
Do-Wah Do-Wah Do-Wah, Do-Wah Do-Wah Do-Wah
Do-Wah Do-Wah Do-Wah
We got a 25 hundred dollar out of court settlement from the
laundromat which helped us move into a trailer park near a
factory where I got a job working a drill press.
I bought a Chevy Impala at a police auction for 500 dollars.
It ran beautifully, but the radio only got A.M.
(Chorus) Do-Wah Do-Wah Do-Wah, Do-Wah Do-Wah Do-Wah
Do-Wah Do-Wah Do-Wah, Do-Wah Do-Wah Do-Wah
Do-Wah Do-Wah Do-Wah
We called Wanda’s parents and told them “We’ve Made it!”
Everthing was going great until I caught her “doing it” with a
seventeen-year-old Puerto Rican kid.
I beat her up pretty bad that night, so she left me and moved in
with her brother. At work I lost two more fingers.
(Chorus) Do-Wah Do-Wah Do-Wah, Do-Wah Do-Wah Do-Wah
Do-Wah Do-Wah Do-Wah, Do-Wah Do-Wah Do-Wah
Do-Wah Do-Wah Do-Wah
I heard through a friend that Wanda’s got a job at a drive-in
movie theater. She sells tickets for the most part, but when
they get real busy she helps behind the candy counter.
She makes around $4.75 an hour, and with what she steals
from the cash register I guess she does all right.
(Chorus) Do-Wah Do-Wah Do-Wah, Do-Wah Do-Wah Do-Wah
Do-Wah Do-Wah Do-Wah, Do-Wah Do-Wah Do-Wah
Do-Wah Do-Wah Do-Wah
Me? Well I roam around a lot. Doing a little bit of this, a little bit
of that. I went to join the military but they told me I didn’t have enough
fingers.
I tried to call Wanda once, but her brother answered the phone
so I just hung up
(Chorus) Do-Wah Do-Wah Do-Wah, Do-Wah Do-Wah Do-Wah
Do-Wah Do-Wah Do-Wah, Do-Wah Do-Wah Do-Wah
Do-Wah Do-Wah Do-Wah
Some people say that life chews you up and spits you out. And
many would say that my life has been somewhat of a hardluck
story.
I don’t know. But I try not to dwell too much on the past. I’m working
in a butcher shop now where they have a lot of sharp tools. It’s been
three weeks and I haven’t lost any fingers yet. Who knows…maybe
things are looking up.
(Chorus) Do-Wah Do-Wah Do-Wah, Do-Wah Do-Wah Do-Wah
Do-Wah Do-Wah Do-Wah, Do-Wah Do-Wah Do-Wah
Do-Wah Do-Wah Do-Wah, etc….
by Stretchlinks | Jun 14, 2009 | Lryics
I’m Still in Love with You
music and lyrics © 1989
The Stretchlinks
I think you are the girl I’ve always dreamed of…
My love’s so strong I don’y know what to do.
And though they have you on death row dear…
I’m still in love with you… I’m still in love with you.
I saw you on the news one night…
the gunfight and your capture that ensued.
And though they shot your leg off and your upper lip…
I’m still in love with you… I’m still in love with you.
(Chorus) They say that you’re homo-cidal;
they say you’re psychopathic too…
though you’ve been known to weild an axe…in anger;
I must confess my undying love for you.
I’ve tried so hard my darling to forget you…
I know that what they say just can’t be true.
That the bodies they found underneath your floorboards..
I’m sure they don’t belong to you…they don’t belong to you.
At six you killed a dog with Daddy’s golf club… (Fore!),
At twelve you stabbed a postman with a knife.
And come the dawn they’ll throw the switch and end your life of crime…
Still you are the sunshine of my life…you are the sunshine of my life.
(Chorus) They say that you’re homo-cidal;
they say you’re psychopathic too… (but I don’t mind)
though you’ve been known to weild an axe…in anger;
I must confess my undying love for you.
With conviction: (Heh-geh- geh geh-geh a goo- goo-goo!!)
I’ve written to your attorney…
I do hope that the jury’s fair.
I hope that I can meet you my darling…
before you meet the chair…before you meet the chair.
Although they say you’re future may seem dismal…
and your darkest fears are surely coming true.
And though they’ll throw the switch they can’t electrocute our love.
Spoken; (‘Cause darling, I’m still in love with you…
darling, I truly love you, with all my heart.)
(Chorus) They say that you’re homo-cidal;
they say you’re psychopathic too… (but I don’t mind)
though you’ve been known to weild an axe…in anger;
I must confess my undying love for you.
“Love is a many Splendeored Thing…It’s the April rose that only grows in the
early spring…Love is a many splendeored thing…”