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About The Stretchlinks

The Stretchlinks

Heinous Rynz and Uncle Wonkles, the alternative comedy duo known as the Stretchlinks, were born in a shoe. Not an ordinary shoe, but one filled with joy and laughter – there was some spittle in there as well but only around the heel and laces. Since happiness and laughing felt natural to them they decided to continue doing just that. So, they mowed lawns, played ukulele and guitar, smiled broadly and guffawed for a solid 20 years. The more they wallowed in their mirth, the more America began to hear something clanky and odd bouncing about the vast mountain ranges, wheat fields and turnstiles of this great republic. Soon their amusemental prowess became so strong, so visceral, that fans and bystanders were knocked to the ground, some regrettably requiring urgent medical aid. After the presses’ flashbulbs cooled and the exciting lawsuits dwindled away, the two started a podcast and became instant media tycoons. Today they both reside in homes that sport running water, painted walls and forced air heating systems.

The Stretchlinks Podcast

Heinous and Wonkles have been gazing at the bottoms of their musical souls for far too long. Now is their moment to pollute another generation with their incessant caterwauling. This time its a giddy cross-continent dollop from Cleveland and San Francisco! Listen in to a lightheaded peek down memory lane as the boys clumsily dust off old tracks, read listener mail, introduce rare “Nuggets Of Wonderness” and bask in a lovable “Don’t Touch That Feces” ranting. Its the first ever Stretchlinks Podcast, so enjoy the classics and a few new ditties to boot.

Be Nice

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Stretchlinks Music And Nonsense!

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The Fresh Stuff

Stretchlinks News: Comedy Music Duo Ready Best Of Album

March 8, 2010

Stretchlinks News: Comedy Music Duo Ready Best Of Album

“I don’t think it’s supposed to happen this way but our giddiness is beginning to hurt.” Those are the words of Uncle Wonkles, guitar player and singer of the comedy music duo, The Stretchlinks. He’s referring to a rare level of joy that when prolonged can cause physical pain.

Nugget Of Wonderness: You Stole My Lung

November 26, 2009

Nugget Of Wonderness: You Stole My Lung

Hilarious lung thievery in this rare Stretchlinks, Nugget Of Wonderness entitled, “You Stole My Lung”. More lunatic, spoken word comedy improv from Heinous and Wonkles.

Links’ To Love: Doc Watson “Deep River Blues”

February 6, 2010

Links’ To Love: Doc Watson “Deep River Blues”

Enjoy this sweet country bluegrass classic “Deep River Blues” by the legendary artist, Doc Watson. More Links’ To Love video!

Stretchlinks News: Democrats and Republicans Genetically Linked

February 22, 2010

Stretchlinks News: Democrats and Republicans Genetically Linked

Pelosi refers to a little known genetic study funded by the National Science Foundation that has conducted extensive gene profiling of many government officials including both houses of congress

Stretchlinks News: Heinous Rynz admits invention of The Missionary Position

January 19, 2010

Stretchlinks News: Heinous Rynz admits invention of The Missionary Position

After years of rumor and speculation, ukulele legend Heinous Rynz has broken his mysterious silence and admitted responsibility for the invention of the “Missionary Position”.

Comedy Music Duo, The Stretchlinks Blame “Stupid”

January 31, 2010

Comedy Music Duo, The Stretchlinks Blame “Stupid”

Today, the elusive singer and writer of the comedy duo, The Stretchlinks rests casually atop a formidable stack of broken reel to reel tape machines piled in the corner of his Burbank, CA office slurring his way through an elliptical but amusing theory about America’s troubles – and perhaps some of his own.

Stretchlinks News: Study Proves Animal Boredom

January 9, 2010

Stretchlinks News: Study Proves Animal Boredom

Are humans the only animals to show signs of boredom? Apparently not. According to Clevelander and part time animal behaviorist, Heinous Rynz, mammals display boredom-like behaviors much like human beings.

Stretchlinks Discover Origin Of The Wedgie

January 9, 2010

Stretchlinks Discover Origin Of The Wedgie

The comedy music duo known as The Stretchlinks recently announced they had evidence that identifies the origins of the schoolyard prank known as “The Wedgy”, or “Wedgie”.